I Went to a Garden Party

I went to a garden party
To reminisce with my old friends
A chance to share old memories
And play our songs again
When I got to the garden party
They all knew my name
No one recognized me
I didn’t look the same

–Garden Party by Ricky Nelson

The garden party that I went to was very different from the one Ricky Nelson was singing about, but the song has been stuck in my head since the night I gathered online with Lindsay Umlah and a group of women. Each of us in our own private space to spend time gazing. Continue reading “I Went to a Garden Party”

Our Greatest Fear

“Our Greatest Fear” is the title of a poem by Marianne Williamson. Four years ago, I wrote a blog post with that poem as my theme. Lately, that poem has been on my mind, snippets of it coming to me throughout the day.

Earlier this week I watched a Dovico live presentation featuring three of my favourite people: Shelley Butler, Yves Doucet and Natalie Davison. They have each been an instrumental part of my journey and growth over the past several years. As usually happens when the three of them get together, the conversation is vigorous and entertaining.  I invite you to watch it for yourself here.

Continue reading “Our Greatest Fear”

When You Change

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change—Wayne Dyer.


When you change…

This week I have been getting notices on my Facebook memory feed of two events that happened a year ago. The first was my interview with Josh Conners about his play “Small Town Queer.”  We had scheduled it for the morning, considering the time difference between Corner Brook, NL, and here in Moncton, NB. When the time came to do the Facebook Live, I had all kinds of trouble connecting with Josh online. I became more and more frustrated and upset with every failed attempt to add him to my live feed. I was in tears as I apologized repeatedly to whoever may have been watching. Continue reading “When You Change”

Learning while Cleaning House


I spent the morning cleaning the house. My friend Dhavita was coming over in the afternoon and I wanted things to look nice. (You should follow her)

I vacuumed, dusted, and even washed the floors. I put away the towel that had been on the leather sofa for weeks. It was there because we have been in the midst of a 30+ degree heatwave for weeks now, and I was tired of sticking to the couch. But I was having company, so away it went. Continue reading “Learning while Cleaning House”

Use The Force: Lessons from Yoda

“May the Force Be With You”

Five years ago, this week I walked out of the job I had into an uncertain future. The geek in me is pleased to say that it was on May the fourth.  I loved the work I had been doing, but the atmosphere of bullying and harassment had taken its toll on me. To be honest, I had almost left several times, but had always talked myself out of it. Worrying about paying bills and having health insurance coverage kept me there longer than I should have been. This time however, I heard myself say the words ‘I have to go” and felt my body get up and move to the door. No time to think about it, no time to change my mind. Continue reading “Use The Force: Lessons from Yoda”

How Shakira and Jennifer Lopez helped me get my fire back.

Shakira and Jennifer Lopez helped me get my fire back. Or rather, the fallout from their show did.

Shakira and Jennifer Lopez performed at the Super Bowl half time show and the internet lost its mind. That’s the short version of this story. The long version is so much more interesting than that. Continue reading “How Shakira and Jennifer Lopez helped me get my fire back.”

What it means to be a Black Belt.

 I tested for my Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do in December 2009. I wrote this essay for Master Lessard, who was one of my instructors. Patrick, Meaghan and I started off as his students, and when he moved to Chung Won Tae Kwon Do, we followed him there. When Patrick and Meaghan tested for their first Dan Black Belt, they had to complete 200 double kicks on the heavy bag, without stopping, and write a 1000 word essay. Even though it was not a requirement for me, I also completed those tasks. I recently found this essay and realized the lessons still apply, maybe even more than ever.

Four years ago, on September 22, 2005, I tested for my orange belt. This was the start of the journey that has brought me to today, a week away from testing for my black belt. Along the way, I have learned a lot about who I am and what is important to me. Continue reading “What it means to be a Black Belt.”

“The Rocky Horror Show” and me

Science Fiction Double Feature*

I first heard about The Rocky Horror Picture Show in 1979, from my friend Laurie after she saw the movie with her older brother. I wasn’t allowed to go to the midnight show, so I learned about it second-hand.  She had the soundtrack, and it wasn’t long before our group of friends knew every word to every song, and we did the “Time Warp” again and again. Continue reading ““The Rocky Horror Show” and me”

The Goal is Freedom: Other Wise

“How often do you do things for other people that you don’t feel like doing?”—Alicia Stafford, YWWL meeting, Nov 2, 2019.

These words gutted me and brought me to tears for the third time that day. I had gone for my weekly weigh-in at Your Way Weight Loss, and I was up . 8 pounds. Alicia looked at me and asked if I was surprised, and I had to honestly answer, no. It still made me tear up with frustration and anger and self-hate. She repeated the words she had said to me several times before. “We need to work on consistency.” That’s not true.  I need to work on consistency. Continue reading “The Goal is Freedom: Other Wise”